RNShelli

Today is day 2 of my motivated attempt to lose weight.  For many years I had the luxery of being thin.  Something happened.  It’s probably a combination of age and pregnancies.  6 years ago I was a nice trim 130 lbs and a size 6.  I had lovely long flowing hair, a nice complexion and loads of self confidence.  2000 I was married and a year later my first son came along.  I breastfed him and the 65 pounds that I gained came off and so did an additional 10 pounds!  I was elated.  2 years later I gave birth to my second son.  The weight did not magically disappear this time like with my first.  I attended weight watchers and along with breastfeeding, I was able to loose the pregnancy weight in about 5 or 6 months.  I had two more pregancies the next year which unfortunately ended in miscarriage. 

Just when I was about to give up having one last baby, I found out I was having TWINS!  Holy Crap.  Holy Stretch marks!  In August 2006 I gave birth to two wonderful, healthy boys.   One was born vaginally and the other C-Section.  My pregnancy weight sky rocketed to almost 200 pounds at 35 weeks gestation and it finally settled around the 160lb mark 4 months after I gave birth.  Breastfeeding twins wasn’t as easy, nor as much fun as nursing a singleton.  I pumped and also nursed them as much as I could while chasing a 2 and 4 year old around.   You would think that all the chasing and lack of sleep would have helped me lose weight.  Ha, the joke was on me!   I believe that I suffered a bit from post-partum depression as well as situational stress.  With my husband travelling away most of the week, me home with 4 little boys under 4, it was easy to eat crap food.   The first 10 months after the twins were born I was exhausted.  It felt good to sit on the couch after everyone was finally in bed and gourge myself on a package of cream cheese and crackers.  Cookies were wonderful too.  All 15 of them dipped in creamy milk with a side of whatever else I could find in the refrigerator.  I could always count on food to make me feel better….temporarily.

Now I’m tired of looking at this body in the mirror.  I’m tired of feeling lethargic because I’m carbohydrate overloaded.  I’m tired of eating what my kids have left on their plate because I had no energy to make something healthy.   I’m tired of still wearing maternity tops and nursing bras because I refuse to buy anything remotely close to a size 14.  I’m ready to finally find the old me underneath all these stretch marks and rolls of fat!